How I Blew Up My House

I used to masturbate a lot. When I was 10, I had a technique where I’d let off a load into a sock then wash it and quickly dry it. I couldn’t leave it hanging outside or use a dryer otherwise my family would’ve seen it and probably smell it or whatnot. So I’d put it inside my gas heater unit. Unfortunately, my sock had caught on fire inside the unit, which blew up and set my house on fire. Only my brother was home at the time, and he managed to survive, the house did not.

For five years we stayed from caravan park to caravan park whilst we waited for confirmation that it was not arson and we could receive an insurance payout. We eventually did and scraped together the money to start rebuilding the house. The house is still being rebuilt to this day and it shames me anytime I have to visit my parents living in a tiny mobile home where my backyard once was.