Saving Seats At The Movies

I was sitting in a movie theater, when I was asked to save two seats in the middle of my row (I was sitting on the end). The people asking were elderly and needed to go to the bathroom, so I thought it was of some kind of an importance. The whole row was filled up too, so I figured it’d be easy to save.

I sat there for a while, when a busty lady made her way up the row and stopped right next to me, at which point she looks at me and says “Can you move.”

I smile with all the awkward tension of any man around giant bazongas and say “Sorry, I believe those are being saved.”

Then the lady does something unbelievable, she sort of tries to jam her way past my legs in a mad attempt to get to the seat. Her boyfriend was just standing there.

I look at her, flabbergasted, and simply say “those seats are saved.”

And then I shit you not. She snapped her fingers in my face, and said “WATCH ME WALK”.

At that point, everyone in the theatre was watching, and I was having none of this. My face went from an awkward “hide a boner” smile to a solid “try me bitch” face. I could tell she was getting ready for another assault, so I slumped down in my chair and put my hands towards the seat in front of me (making a desperate attempt to block her) and she was forced to sort of run into my legs a few times.

I looked at her boyfriend, and he rolled his eyes and said “come on, let’s go.”

So off went Busty St.Claire, in all her vivacious rage, roaring and raving all the way to the front of the theater.

Best part was after the whole episode was over and the elderly couple had returned, the people behind me asked me to save their seats, because they thought “if anyone could handle it, it would be me”.